Friday, January 18, 2013


Today I turn 47. When I Googled images for the number 47, the first thing that came up were lots and lots of guns…as in AK47. After the guns, came images of the 47% that is discussed regularly in political circles.

• 47 is an odd number.

• It is a ‘safe’ prime number.

• 47 is a favorite number of and used over and over in Star Trek.

• 47 is the number of miles of barbed wire walked by the singer of Bo Diddley's "Who Do You Love".

• The Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn are located 47 degrees apart (interesting as I am a Capricorn).

• 47 is my Curly Girls's favorite number.

• 47 appears to be the quintessential random number of the universe.

Well, isn’t all of that interesting? I am now the quintessential random number of the universe.

I do not love nor hate birthdays myself. I am really indifferent to my own birthday. I try to make each of my children's birthdays special for them but me...well...I can take it or leave it. My family never makes a big deal of my birthday and that is alright by me.

Today is another day on the calendar and one where I do what I always do...get up, go to mom stuff. I do get to celebrate Mass today with the school. My students have prepared a Mass for Social Justice. I love my faith so this makes my day special. However, seeing that it is my birthday, I thought I should stop and take some time to reflect.

So here are some random thoughts about today...

1. Today is the day that A.A. Milne was born. He is the author of Winnie the Pooh. I adore Pooh Bear. We have a great deal in common...very little brain/enormous heart....the love of good company and a pot of honey (or bottle of wine in my case). Pooh is wiser than he ever thinks he is and a good friend.

2. I am proud of my age and don't care who knows that I am 47 today. I earned every year of that age. Up, down, good, bad...I like to think that I am 21 with 26 years experience! I would not be the person I am today without all that experience!

3. Age is just a number. It is so true. One can be 20 and look older. One can be 60 and look younger (with or without the help of a good surgeon). One can act younger or older than they are as well. We can all do things that help us look and feel younger (or older) is all in how you feel!

4. We spend our youth trying to grow up. We tell our kids to grow up. We dress and act older than we are. When we start to age, we try to dress and act younger. Why are we never really content right where we are?

5. Why are we so afraid of birthdays? Why are we afraid to get older? Are we afraid we are one step closer to the grave? Who cares? I could be gone tomorrow. I want to celebrate the fact that I am breathing right now.

6. I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life. Many who are gone now, some who passed at a young age, but all had so much to teach me. I am so grateful for all of them. I continue to be surrounded by so many fabulous people that I learn from each day.

7. Kids....If anyone would have told me when I was in college that I would eventually marry (a cop, no less!) and be the mother to 5 kids, I would have told them to sober up! Not Happening! But here I am....married almost 19 years and a mom to many! I could not be happier with where I am today. It is not easy but it is the best job I could ask for.

8. Live for the little things. I never expect a lot and am constantly surprised. I relish and savor the little things because it is in the little things that one finds true miracles.

9. 46 was a really good year. There were ups and there were downs but for the most part it was a good year. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I embrace who and what I am today…right here in present form. I am a work in progress but comfortable with that status.

10. Another trip 'round the sun...what will happen on this trip? Ever wonder if you have packed correctly for your trip? I do....what will I need for this journey? Where will I be at this time next year?

So today, as I pull on my pink sassy boots, I am ready for an adventure to happen. I don't know where I will be at this time next year but I hope it is back here with more stories to tell. I don't know what the year has in store for me but I can only hope it is more learning, growing and Inspiring! Peace.

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." AA Milne

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." Winnie the Pooh


Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Today is the 363 day of my 46th year. Looking back it has been a good year. In 2 days I will enter my 47th year on the planet.  So many days. So many moments strung together to make my lifetime.

Why people fear getting older, or lie about their age continually mystifies me.  Me? I embrace it. I am proud of every year I have been on this planet. Each bag, sag or line on my body reminds me of my life experiences…some good, some great, some crappy. I would not change nor fix any of it. All of it has made me into the person I am today.  Do I have regrets? Not really. Everything that has happened in my 46 years 363 days has shaped me into who I am this very minute. Do I have things I wish I could change? Sure but the fact is that I cannot go back.  I see events in my life with the glasses of experience earned thought the years.  

So in 2 days I will turn the page on year 46 and begin year 47.  Will there be parties and cake and singing? Probably not.   Do I need a big celebration? Not at all. A glass of wine and a minute to catch my breath will be enough for me.  Birthdays are just that, the day I was born and entered the world. Every day should be a celebration ….of who I am becoming.  What the new year holds for me, only God knows. The fact that I am getting older does not frighten me. It excites me. I wonder what adventures await in the years to come.


Are you uncomfortable?

An open letter to Lance Armstrong

Dear Lance,
Thank for finally admitting that you were dishonest. I get it. It is hard to admit you have done something wrong but once it is out there you can deal with the consequences. What I don’t understand is why it took you so long to get this place. You lied and lied. People stood behind you and trusted you. People went to bat for you. You swore up and down that you were honest. You lied.

Now it is not only you that has to deal with your lies but so many others. Those who were faithful to you and trusted you have had their lives turned upside down. Not only have you shaken the core of your faithful but also the faith people had in your charity. What happens to those who trusted you, believed in you and now have no champion for their cause?

The world at large, the cycling world and cancer patients will go on. All will find faith in others and continue to move forward. The people I feel most deeply distressed for are your family members, mostly your children.

Dads are their children’s biggest heroes.  Dads are put on the pedestal by children, especially daughters, as the be all and end all. The world revolves around Dad. You have taken that away from your own children. You may not think it now, but what you have done will stay with them their entire lives. People may not trust them and they may lose trust in others. They carry your last name and will forever be tied to this scandal just as they were tied to your glory.

In your rise and demise are lessons for all of us. Glory is great but greatness earned of its own merits is true glory. Eventually we will all get caught in our lies and deception and it is up to us to take responsibility.  The ripples of our actions travel far and wide.  When people trust us, it is up to us to continually earn that respect by our actions. So many lessons….

Ultimately it is you, Lance, that has to get up every morning and look into the mirror. Do you like what you see?  

A sad mom and former fan 

Saturday, January 5, 2013


The other night my dog had me worried. She looked so sad and was not acting normally. I went to bed worried about her. I woke up early to check on her and she still seemed 'off'. I called the vet an decided to take her in. I was so concerned that she had eaten something and was sick/dying.

After an exam from the vet I was given the bad news. I no longer had a running buddy. She was diagnosed with advanced arthritis in her back hips. She actually nipped at the vet while being checked out and that is totally out of character for her.

They recommended X-rays and lots of expensive medications but the hardest hit was that she would no longer be able to run with me.

I guess that this is so hard to stomach because she is the reason I started moving In the first place. Her need for long walks and exercise led to the demand of me to lead ...or be lead by her. Little did I know our run on New Years Eve would be our last together. I think what makes this so difficult is that the choice was made for us. We really had no say in this choice.

I thought she would be my running buddy forever. I guess I didn't think she could get old and tired. She still acts like a puppy most days.The notion that she is getting old makes me realize that we are all getting old. She forces me to think about many aging issues I try to put put of my mind.

Running without her is still something I am processing. It is make more difficult because she saved me this summer. I wonder if that was the beginning of the end. I wonder if her helping me caused her to get hurt andexpedited the aging process.

For now I can't run outside. I will soon enough...but for the time being I still have my running buddy at the foot of the treadmill looking at me with sad, defeated eyes.