Sunday, June 25, 2017

Pride

A year ago my son suggested we go to the Pride Parade. It was a passing comment but I knew he was gauging my reaction. I agreed and we decided to go...just the 2 of us. I was hoping that our adventure would help him gain some confidence.
I took this picture within minutes of us arriving at the parade and began to cry. I knew it would be a life changing day for him.  That day did not change who my son is....it changed how he felt about himself.  It changed me to see him so very happy.  On the way home he said he had never felt so much love in one place before.
My son finally worked up the courage in the fall to talk to me. I will never forget that moment as I sat at the kitchen counter and he said, "Mom...pay attention....I think I am gay..." I did not even blink.  I said, "I know, Honey." I think that there were a few more words exchanged and he walked back out of the kitchen.
From the moment he was conceived, I have said that my son is extraordinary and has a special purpose....that he is destined for greatness. He has proven me right at every turn.
It took a few more months for him to tell his sisters, as well as his dad, and he told each person in his own way. Every reaction was a little different but all of us have been waiting for this conversation.
Over the course of this year my son has had had to endure torment from people online, people in real life, children at his school, administrators and teachers from his school, even family members but he keeps moving forward. I know that on some level it takes a toll on him but his is confident in himself.
My son.
He is amazing.
He is brave and courageous.
As a mother, I worry about him. I worry that his life will not be easy. I worry that he will get his heart, and perhaps his spirit, broken. Every mother worries about their child so these worries are nothing unique. Every mother wishes that their child will never feel pain, never be teased, never be hurt.... we mothers want to protect our babies at any age.  We want our children to have it better and easier than we do. We want them to only feel love....from everyone...all the time.
Today my son and I went back to the Pride Parade, except this year 2 of his sisters chose to come along.  We laughed and danced and laughed some more. This time I saw something different. I saw an older generation of men and women who, whether they meant to or not, have paved the way for kids like my son. The lived for years in hiding, denying their love for another. They lived a lie in secret. They lived in fear. As time has passed, they have opened doors and moved barriers as they lived their lives. The love, gratitude and admiration I feel for these men and women is immeasurable.  By demanding equality and respect, they have created a culture where kids like my son can feel confident in owning their truth at a young age. I can only imagine the emotions their mothers felt way back when....when things were not so open and life was far more constrictive and conservative.
My son.
He is amazing.
He is brave and courageous.
DO NOT get me wrong....my son makes me crazy just like any other teen makes a momma nutty. We argue and yell at each other. We talk to each other and work through things too.  We navigate this new territory together. Neither one of us knows what will happen in the future, but I do know that my son will always be loved by me and by God. God makes no mistakes. God created my son. God created my son for something significant.  God chose me to be this boy's mother. God has a plan for both of us and I have faith.
I have faith.
I am proud.
I am grateful.
Love is love
Love will always win.
Love.....
forward is a pace
Peace.




**Disclaimer: I asked for, and received approval from my son to write this piece. He also approved the finished piece.**

No comments:

Post a Comment