Marriage

Happily ever after? Does it really exist? I have been thinking a lot about this topic lately.  What makes us fall in love with someone? What makes us yearn to get married? What makes a marriage last? 

I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but there are days I don't like him much....and I am sure the feeling is mutual. I like having a partner to raise my children with but sometimes it is more hassle that it is worth. I often feel like I have 5 children living in the house and not 4. It is a constant challenge to be the adult. Some days my eyes see the romance and the man I married....but not every day!  So what makes us want to get married? When I was dating him, what made me think we could be together for the rest of our lives?

I have friends who have lost their spouse or gotten a divorce. Some are ready to move forward and find another mate and others say never again. What makes someone fall 'out of love' with another? Sure I know that there is abuse and infidelity and other things that cause a marriage to dissolve.  In cases such as those, there really is no other choice but others say they just 'fell out of love'. Why? Did the marriage become 'work'? No one knows what happens behind closed doors in any relationship. Only the 2 people involved really know what is happening in any relationship...all outsiders can do is speculate. Who are we to judge a marriage? Do we know all the facts? Hardly. I know my marriage is work every day. It is not constant sunshine and roses. I do not live in a romance novel. The day to day grind is tough.

Why do some choose to live together, having children and then get married? It seems backwards to me. Are they afraid of a potential divorce? Are they afraid to commit? What are they afraid of?

And why are so many against gay marriage? No, it is not for me but that does not mean that it is not for others. I am not God and it is not my job to decide what is right or wrong. We all have to face our Maker sometime. Why should others not be allowed to do the work of a lasting marriage? Why do those that can marry, choose not to and forbid others from that choice? If others are interested in joining me in the work of wedded bliss....why not? I know many gay couples that have more committed, longer relationships than most married people. So what's the problem?

So many questions and so few answers.