Intention

Tomorrow is the start of a new year and a new decade. It's that time of year when everyone starts with the new year/new me BS, the resolutions and the promises to change in the new year. The "new year smells like..." Seriously? Who is going to say the new year smells like shit? No one!  And, Honestly, who can "smell" a year?
Why do we see/smell January 1 as the start of changing ourselves? Why do we feel the need to make these grand resolutions?
How many of us have actually kept our resolutions? Let's ask all those people that flood the gyms in January. I know it rarely happens  that we keep those resolutions because I was one of those people.
New year/New me? Why? I doubt that any of us are so awful that we need to completely overhaul ourselves to create something new.  I am all about self improvement and making the world a better place. So why not do it daily?  Why not just wake up each day and vow to be better, kinder, stronger  and more authentic than you were the day before?
This is why I have a hard time picking a "word of the year" and do not believe in resolutions. I think it is far more beneficial to set an intention for the year.  Wayne Dyer said, “Our intention creates our reality.” How many times have you heard “What you think, you become,” or “Thoughts become reality”? Our thoughts have so much power so why not focus that power in a positive direction?
Once you set an intention, you may find your "word" if that is your jam. You may find deeper focus once you set your intention. That intention may permeate all areas of your life and help you reach your goals.
How the hell do I do set an intention, you ask....well here are some things to ask yourself:
*What matters to you?
*What do you want to build/create/grow in your life?
*What do you want to let go of?
*Who/what do you want to forgive in your life?
*What makes you proud?
*What fears do you want to let go of?
*What are you grateful for?

Once you answer those questions (and the others that come up).....and BE HONEST with yourself, you will begin to notice a theme.  Look at what starts to resonate with you. It may be the same things that you wanted to work on last year and it may be something different. It doesn't matter because it is all about you. 

Here are some ideas that I have used in the past:

Open mind and heart
Peace

Focus
Act with courage
Embrace change
Give and receive love
Vulnerability
Connection

Gratitude

Balance

Move forward

Authenticity
Vision (2020!!)

 I find that once I choose the intention, it really begins to direct my steps. But I take my time in making a choice.  Do you have to choose today? Nope. Tomorrow? Nope. Despite what social media tells us, you can start any time you want. Do NOT feel pressured into starting this tomorrow.  Can't pick one thing? Who cares!  Choose 2. You do you, sis!  The fact that you want to work on you is the biggest win. 

Once you choose it.....put it where you can see it. Say it daily. Call it out to yourself (and others) when you see it manifest. You will begin to notice it more and more in your life. 

Am I perfect? um,  no. Do I practice this perfectly....Hell, NO!  I fall down. I make mistakes. I allow myself some grace (another intention idea!) and I start again. The idea is to just keep going...keep moving forward. 

So, no pressure. No "new year/new me." No "resolutions." Just do you. If an intention feels right, do that. If not....just put one foot in front of the other and move forward each day......or don't. Just do you! 

Peace,

#tutulady

#forwardisapace

(if choosing an intention is your thing, I would love to know what you choose!)

Reality

Now that the holiday season is almost over, it is time for a reality check.
The holidays are a stressful time for so many people. The desire to make others happy, to live up to expectations of others, to "post" a perfect holiday. I know I am guilty of it all. I used to kill myself to make it all look and seem perfect. I still post a few photos of my family that "look" good on the surface.
We have spent months subject to advertisements about giving cars and diamonds.  Endless social media posts that are carefully curated to present the "perfect" holiday. And countless sales attempting to get us to spend more than we have.
Consumerism is at its finest this time of year. Again, I am guilty. We all want the "perfect holiday." We want to be "Pintrest worthy." We want to post that "perfect" photo that gets all the comments and likes. We want the validation that we are doing it "right."
I admit that I am and have been guilty of this. However, I no longer live for that "post." We need a reality check.
How much do you know about that "perfect" family/person that you are following? What is the reality behind it all? I know that personally I tried for years to make my imperfect, controlled, abuse filled life look good. No one knew my reality.....because I would not allow it.
We like, comment and further validate each others seemingly perfect lives and thus further perpetuating the idea that appearances are reality. Thus is as far from the truth as possible.
I had a friend post some photos Christmas morning without the matching jammies, makeup and styled hair. It was glorious!  I loved her vulnerability and transparency. It was a refreshing breath of fresh air on an otherwise sickeningly sweet holiday morning feed. We are all imperfect in some way. Should we air all our crap on social media? No. But should we cover it all up thus invalidating thuse that feel anything other than perfectly happy during the holidays? HELL NO!
For years families have covered up, whispered about or just not spoken about things such as mental illness, abuse, inappropriate sexual behavior, infidelity, alcoholism...the list is endless. We have allowed racism, homophobia, ignorance and all sorts of other morally corrupt behavior to run rampant because we are afraid to speak up. We want the Norman Rockwell holiday and family.
Well, that is not possible. It is time we got real with each other. It is time we talk about the tough stuff and allow  ourselves and each other some grace. Will some people be uncomfortable and walk away? Sure. But from my experience, people are longing for reality. People are longing for connection to not only their joy but connection in their imperfection, grief and sadness. We need more reality. Not more gossip but honest conversation about the realities of our lives.
What if people start having those conversations with friends, setting boundaries with families,  and getting real with themselves? How would things change? I think we all need a reality check this coming year. Stop trying to do it alone. Stop trying yo impress others with your pretty pictures. Stop living in fear.  Make 2020 the year to see and be seen.....make 2020 the year to be real.
Peace
#tutulady
#forwardisapace

Lemonade

IT
IS
HERE!

I can not believe it!
I really and truly can not believe it is here!
I am an author!  My name is searchable and associated with a book on AMAZON!!!
(click the title below to see for yourself!!)

The Lemonade Stand Book!!!

The Lemonade Stand(Kindle Ed)!!!!!!

Several months ago I was contacted by a high school friend who asked me to be a part of a writing project. She knew only a small portion of my story and thought I should share more, taking a deeper dive. I was intrigued and wanted to know more so, I contacted the collaborator and she put me in touch with the publisher. I learned the working title was the Lemonade Stand and liked it already. I hemmed and hawed, emailed back and forth with these women, had lengthy phone conversations with them, and battled my own inner demons.  There were so many signs along the way that told me that this was the right project at the right time. I mean, I had just bought a lemon tree for heaven's sake and I was seeing lemons everywhere I looked.  So I finally made the decision to join the project, took a giant leap and made the call ....#forwardisapace is my motto, right?
Once I made the decision to write my chapter, I sat down and the words poured out of me like water over the falls. I wrote it all in one weekend. Like Goldilocks...first it was too long and then it was too short and then it was just right.
I sent it off for editing and it came back with only a few suggestions of changes. So we moved forward.
I let some of my children read it at that point as I wanted their honest opinion. And they gave it to me...in spades. They were proud of their momma! And I moved forward.
I got it back one more time for final approval. Hitting send that last time meant sending my words, my story, out into the world. It was as if my soul exhaled.  The fear and apprehension of being so vulnerable had yet to set in!  I continued to move forward.
And then it was a waiting game. I waited for the other women to finish their chapters. And boy did those other women deliver!  When I received a proof of  the book I sat for a while feeling the weight of these words and the women who wrote them. Then I started to read.....
And I could not stop!  But I really had to....I had to put down the book between each chapter and breathe.  Each story was more compelling than the next. These women poured their souls on to the pages of this book. And then I realized I was one of them. Seeing my name in the table of contents was surreal, but then reading what I had written? It was an out of body experience and I kept moving forward.
But the best was yet to come because #forwardisapace !!!
The book was listed on Amazon this week and has already reached best seller status in 8...yes...EIGHT...kindle categories!  The reviews are pouring in and all so positive! The paperback copy of the book will be released Wednesday, December 4, 2019, and I know that things will only go up from there!  FORWARD!!!!
The fear and apprehension of vulnerability have fully set in but in the words of some of my co-authors, that fear is an ever evolving beast and will always be there until we release the shame and face it all head on. so.... #forwardisapace
I am so proud of the book and sharing my story. I am blessed and honored to be in the company of such strong, resilient, and gifted women! I hope that you will not only buy the book to read my story, but also read the stories of these other amazing women. While my story may not resonate with you, perhaps the story of one of the other women will. Perhaps you know someone who could use a little lemonade in their life and you buy them a copy as a gift.
I am so thankful for the opportunity to share my story, share what running, Girls on the Run and being the #tutulady means to me and share the life experiences of my amazing co-authors.
My gratitude is beyond words at this point.
Let's just say that my heart is sooo full....I am DANCING and I am moving forward
This #tutulady thanks everyone she knows from the bottom of her overflowing, glitter filled, sparkly, tutu wearing heart! I am who I am thanks to of all of you!
Peace
#forwardisapace
#tutulady